A well composed piece possesses great power over perception. Edited and polished, anything from words to photos can be positioned to replace reality but only for a short time. It is what PR professions are made of, what culture is composed of and what our hearts have all too often bought into.
After a weekend of styled shoots, I took some time to review photos in effort to narrow down shots for a post. Scouring numerous times through the batch I found that every round uncovered a new layer of images flawed. Unseen by most and yet blazingly evident to me. The process of it was a reminder of how big a critic one can be of them self. It is the pursuit to preserve pride, one that emphatically proclaims - before anyone is to break me, I'll break myself first, before anyone drives the dagger through my soul, I - will give myself the fatal blow. So in pride's honor, where some find fashion inspiration in my personal style, I see a girl far from the bar of established and acclaimed fashionistas. Where others find beauty, I see inches of unwanted weight, blemished skin, uncooperative hair, beauty lacking and a list of insecurities that diligently wait at my bedside, greeting me every morning with much embrace. These thoughts are constant, relentless, nagging long enough to tear down the most secure walls of perceived confidence. How grave these accusations can be! Like a sea in the eye of a storm, overwhelming the soul down to its core. It was then that something in me snapped. Either I choose to swim with the current and ride culture's wave of a polished brand or fight against, rising to the occasion of exposing the truth and beauty of a flawed nature, brokenness in its many forms.
I don't know who reads this blog. Statistics will never reveal faces, names, personalities and/or struggles. As far as I know you are but a number based on the analytics. But I know wherever you are, who ever you are, this message was intended for you. For you, I will choose to be unedited, unpolished and bare in these pages. Honest and open in my journey with hopes that you too can find beauty and voice against what culture and perfection demand. I too carry insecurities just as you do, do not be fooled, nor do I intend to fool you. On the contrary, here I fight against them, with every post published. That in documenting this journey I may look back on every single one of these pages as a mere reader, fall in love all over again, applying messages to my life that were originally granted to me to share.
Thank you, who ever you are.